


In The Eye of the Beholder

by Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat



Series: Recovery Phrases [1]
Category: Smile For Me (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Established Relationship, Kinda?, M/M, Making Up, Post-Canon, Therapy, There's mentions of habismal and wallus and questionette's past relationship, but they aren't really big enough to be tagged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25234756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat/pseuds/Never_Eat_Sour_Wheat
Summary: Kamal nodded again, before taking Wallus’s hand. Wallus let him, even though it made his stomach turn. “I love you,” Kamal whispered.“Yeah,” Wallus said. Kamal finally looked up at him, and Wallus knew he wouldn’t be able to burn away the memory of Kamal’s tears. “I’ll see you at home.”He turned and left.
Relationships: Kamal Bora & Dr. Boris Habit, Kamal Bora & Flower Kid, Kamal Bora/Wallus Breadbear
Series: Recovery Phrases [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1854331
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	In The Eye of the Beholder

**Author's Note:**

> There are like... no Wallus centric fics. So I decided to take matters into my own hands! And this was born! It's a mess of weird half explained headcanons and was written in about two hours, but it made me happy and I hope it makes some of you happy too! This is... kind of a character study? Maybe? I dunno. But it's here! And you guys have to deal with that oadinfasn.

He should’ve been frantic. He should’ve been calling until his phone gave out. He should’ve been going back out there himself.

But instead he was just sort of… sitting here. In Kamal’s room. Looking at the old pictures of them.

Wallus didn’t consider himself one to hold grudges. But what both of his coworkers had done to him were… interesting. He still wasn’t ready to think about what had happened with Habit. But the deal with Kamal was nagging at the back of his mind, and it didn’t seem it’d be stopping anytime soon.

They’d quit together. He’d thought so, anyways.

He huffed quietly and sat heavily on Kamal’s bed. He reached out to the nightstand and grabbed the picture of them that Kamal had there. It was one of his favorites. Kamal’s mom had snapped it when he was visiting home from college. Kamal had launched himself at Wallus, and he’d only just barely been able to catch him. He smiled sadly at the little Kamal in the photo pressing a kiss to his cheek.

College had been a lot simpler.

Wallus fell against the bed and clutched the picture frame close to his chest. The sun was fully up now, and he knew that whatever was happening at the Habitat would be finishing up soon. He sat up again and set the picture frame down just as the phone rang. He walked, probably more lazily than he should have, to answer it.

“Hello?” He said into the receiver.

“Hey Wallus,” Kamal’s voice came from the other line. “I uh… I’m at the hospital.”

“Oh. Oh, shit,” Wallus said. He leaned against the wall so he wouldn’t fall over. “Is everyone okay?”

“Not… not exactly?” Kamal said. Wallus could practically see him tapping his fingers against his leg. “Flower Kid’s missing a lot of teeth. Habit’s… they’re checking him out now, but he’ll probably be alright. He was mostly away from the gas.”

Wallus nodded, even though Kamal couldn’t see it. He knew Kamal knew he had. “Do you need anything?” He asked.

“A change of clothes would be nice,” Kamal said. “I haven’t worn anything but these pajamas for… wow, a month?” He chuckled.

Wallus couldn’t help a small smile. “Try doing it in a janitor’s outfit,” he said. 

“And crammed in a wall,” Kamal teased.

“Um…” Wallus swallowed. “Yeah.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment, before Kamal cleared his throat. “If… if you could bring me a change of clothes, that’d be great. And… and I’ll just meet you in the lobby. You don’t have to see either of them.”

“Sounds good,” Wallus said.

“Oh, and-”

“Toothbrush?”

Wallus could feel Kamal smiling. “And the… toothpaste.”

“Can’t say tooth lube in public, huh?” Wallus teased.

“Oh hush,” Kamal replied. “I’ll see you in a bit?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. I… I love you.” 

The hesitation in Kamal’s voice made Wallus flinch. The fact he couldn’t seem to say it back made him grip the bookshelf tightly. “Yeah,” he managed weakly, after way too much time had passed. “Okay. See ya.” He hung up before he could think too long about how he hadn’t said it back.

Packing up a duffle bag for Kamal wasn’t hard. Grab his toothbrush and toothpaste. A hairbrush too, just in case. His favorite outfit, the pink button up that Wallus had given him on his birthday three years ago, and the identical sweatpants he always wore when he didn’t have to be in scrubs. Wallus stared at the duffle bag sitting on Kamal’s bed for a long moment.

It almost looked like something he’d burn when getting over an ex.

He shook the thought from his head, and zipped it shut. The bus ride to the hospital wasn’t too long, but it was too far to walk, and Kamal still had the car. Wallus had hitched a ride home with Ronbo when they were all leaving. There had been a lot of questions, and he’d refused to answer any of them. Things were still a little too fresh. He wasn’t ready to rip the bandaid off yet.

He entered the lobby and looked around it. He spotted a couple familiar faces in one corner. The florists. He felt his stomach tie itself in knots, and he was approaching them before he could think better of it. They were both crying, one of them leaning heavily against the other.

“Hey,” he said quietly. They both jumped and looked up at him. “You’re… you’re here cuz of Flower Kid, right?”

“Y-yes,” the shorter man said. “You… you know them?”

“Sort of,” Wallus said. He pointed to the chair next to the shorter one, and both of them nodded. He sat down. “I’m Kamal’s… roommate.” Obviously the two gay men would have no problem hearing about his and Kamal’s relationship, but… well. He wasn’t sure where they stood anymore. “You… I’m sure you’ve seen him at this point. He drove your kid here, I’m pretty sure.”

“Mr. Bora’s been a wonderful help,” the taller florist said. His husband nodded. “He’s been clearing up everything that happened.”

“What… what exactly happened?” Wallus asked.

“A gas leak,” the shorter florist said. “Mr. Bora said that he managed to evacuate most people, but that our child had been seeing Dr. Habit the night before and had fallen asleep in his office. The good doctor let them stay… and neither of them noticed the gas leak until it was too late.”

“And the missing teeth?” Wallus asked.

“They fell from the tower,” the taller florist said with a sob. 

Wallus nodded. “I’m sorry,” he said, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

He felt… upset. He didn’t want Kamal to lie about all this. He didn’t want Flower Kid to lie either. Neither of them should be lying about something this big. Hopefully Habit would come clean and then they could all forget this when he wasn’t around anymore. But… knowing what Wallus now knew about Kamal…

“Hey Wallus.”

Speak of the devil.

Wallus stood and held out the duffle bag to Kamal. “Here,” he said, choking up a little.

“Thanks,” Kamal said. He wasn’t looking at Wallus. He didn’t used to have problems with that. “Uh… do… I know you don’t want to see Habit, but… I mean, Flower Kid did help you, and…”

“I think their dads should see them first,” Wallus said. “And you. You two were buddy buddy without them lying about who they were.”

“They tried to tell you,” Kamal defended weakly.

Wallus was quiet for a moment. “Okay… fair,” he finally said. “Dallas’s painting did let me know. I guess I’m the one who brushed them off.”

“They want to see you,” Kamal said.

“Do they really? Or do you just want me to stay?” Kamal fell silent at that. “Look… just… come back home. When you’re ready. I don’t want to have this talk in a hospital lobby,” Wallus said. Kamal nodded. “And take care of yourself. Don’t brush too hard.” 

Kamal nodded again, before taking Wallus’s hand. Wallus let him, even though it made his stomach turn. “I love you,” Kamal whispered.

“Yeah,” Wallus said. Kamal finally looked up at him, and Wallus knew he wouldn’t be able to burn away the memory of Kamal’s tears. “I’ll see you at home.”

He turned and left.

* * *

Kamal doesn’t come home for two weeks.

Wallus is pretty sure he knows where he is. He never called to say. It doesn’t take a lot to guess. 

Wallus has been ditched for the dentist. Again.

He’d taken to sleeping in Kamal’s room. The bed was too small, but he curled up, even though it hurt his back. He slid the picture frame under the pillow. He held Kamal’s old college sweatshirt against his chest. It smelled like him.

He was sleeping in Kamal’s room when he came home.

“Hey…” a small voice called to him. Kamal shook his arm slightly. He blinked his eyes open and looked up at him. “Scoot over.”

“There’s not room for both of us, and you know it,” Wallus said, groggily.

“I don’t care,” Kamal said. 

Wallus just nodded and scooted as far over as he could, pressing his back against the wall. Kamal settled into the bed next to him. They’re both curled up at awkward angles, and Kamal laid his head against the picture frame, but they didn’t move. Not until morning.

But they certainly didn’t sleep either.

Kamal got out of bed when the sun came up, and Wallus quickly followed him. They made their way to the kitchen, and Wallus noticed that Kamal was rubbing at his arms. He looked…

He looked like shit.

His shirt was torn to shreds, his sweatpants were muddy and disgusting. He was still wearing his shoes, and they were caked in mud. He had bags under his eyes, even more than usual, and his hair was an absolute mess.

“I told you to take care of yourself,” Wallus mumbled.

“I was too busy taking care of someone else,” Kamal replied. He stood on his toes to reach into the cabinet with the instant coffee. It was untouched. “Habit’s… he’s… he’s able to be on his own now. So… I’m home.”

“What happened to your shirt?” Wallus asked.

“He’s got some sharp claws,” Kamal replied. Wallus gasped, and Kamal quickly turned to him. “Nothing bad happened! He just… he got horrible flashbacks and held on too tight. Ripped up my shirt. He didn’t have anything that would fit me.”

“And the mud?” Wallus asked. “Which is definitely all over your bed now, by the way.”

“That was my bed?” Kamal asked quietly.

“Yeah…” Wallus said. They just stared at each other for a moment, before Wallus broke the silence. “The mud?”

“Oh!” Kamal jumped and almost spilled the coffee everywhere. “Um… I was helping Habit garden. He just kinda… he instantly threw himself into it. I dunno… it seemed to help though.”

Wallus hummed. He looked Kamal up and down. He didn’t seem at all upset that his favorite shirt was beyond repair. Wallus wondered if he remembered it was a gift from him. Kamal popped his cup of coffee in the microwave, and turned to face Wallus. They stared at each other again.

“How long were you sleeping in my room?” Kamal asked.

“When are you going to change?” Wallus said in return.

Kamal stared at him for another moment, before sighing. “Watch my coffee and I will right now,” he said.

Wallus nodded. He watched as Kamal shuffled back to his room. As soon as the door was shut, he leaned against the kitchen counter and tried not to sob. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go at all. Kamal was supposed to come home from the hospital that night and fall into Wallus’s arms and apologize and tell him about all he’d done wrong. And Wallus was supposed to stand his ground and make sure Kamal knew he needed to move out.

Or something.

He probably would’ve forgiven him, and they both knew that.

But Kamal had waited two weeks. So now… now they were both lost.

The microwave beeped, and Wallus carefully pulled the mug out. It was an anniversary gift he’d given Kamal. It had little music notes all over it. They used to play together. They used to sound good together.

Wallus sobbed so hard that he almost dropped the mug. He set it down carefully and buried his face in his hands. He took deep breaths and willed his tears away as fast as he could. He sniffed one last time, before looking up again. As soon as he did, Kamal opened the door and shuffled out of his room. He was wearing the college sweatshirt that Wallus had left on his bed. It was a little small on him these days, showing just a little bit of tummy. 

Wallus used to make little jokes about it. 

Kamal carefully grabbed his coffee and took a sip. He tried to smile at Wallus, but it fell flat. “I definitely missed this,” he said.

“What, instant coffee?” Wallus asked. “You always used to complain about it.”

“Habit didn’t have any coffee at all at his place,” Kamal said. “Apparently he hates the stuff.”

“It does stain teeth,” Wallus mused. He didn’t miss the hurt expression that crossed Kamal’s face. “How’s Flower Kid?”

“I uh… I don’t know?” Kamal said. He chuckled awkwardly. “I kinda… spent the whole time I was gone with Habit. I wanted to make sure he was okay.”

“And not Flower Kid?” Wallus asked. More like snapped, really. “Not the kid you basically sent into a bear trap? Because you were too much of a coward?”

“Wallus…” Kamal voice broke. 

“You went back to him,” Wallus said. “Why the hell did you do that?”

“I just…” Kamal bit his lip and set his mug down. “I thought I could help him…”

“And you got fired,” Wallus said, his voice flat. “I told you when we quit that we couldn’t help him. I told you that we didn’t have to help him. He wasn’t our responsibility.”

“Why’d you stay then?” Kamal asked. Wallus pressed his lips together. “You’re a compassionate guy, Wallus. I know you didn’t want to give up on him either. You just… you didn’t know how to help him. And I didn’t either. Flower Kid did. And now… now I know how to. I can work with this. I’m going to work with this.”

“I know what you look like when you’re in love,” Wallus said. Kamal just stared at him. “You used to look at me like that…”

“You looked at Questionette that way,” Kamal countered.

“Yeah, and I came to you and we talked about it. Don’t try to pull that card with me, Kamal. You were on board with ‘Nette. You liked her. You kept an eye on her for me when I asked you too.” Wallus took a deep breath. “You could’ve talked to me about Habit.”

“Just to hear you bad mouth him?” Kamal said. “Yeah, no thanks.”

“Remember when we were in high school? And we tried for the first time?” Wallus asked. Kamal chuckled and nodded. “How we were so wrapped up in each other that we almost failed our classes? How we talked about nothing but how perfect we were together? How badly that hurt us?”

Kamal was quiet for a long time. “Yeah…” he finally mumbled. “We didn’t talk for three months.”

“And now… and now we’re better. Because we know each other’s flaws,” Wallus said. “Or… we used to be better.”

“I see his flaws, I’m not an idiot,” Kamal said. 

“Well… you certainly used to be,” Wallus replied.

They stood silently in the kitchen for a long time. Kamal didn’t drink his coffee, and Wallus didn’t move to get food, even though he was really hungry. There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find a way to get any of it out. He could tell that Kamal felt the same way. After a long time, Kamal dumped his coffee down the drain.

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

And the floodgates opened.

Wallus sobbed loudly, and practically fell to the floor. He just sort of crumpled and sat against the cabinets. He felt Kamal sit next to him, and he heard Kamal’s sobs as well. He reached for him, and Kamal was there. He pressed his face into Kamal’s tangled hair, and Kamal pressed his face into Wallus’s chest. They held each other tightly and cried. Wallus couldn’t see through his tears, but he felt Kamal and he smelled him, and he knew he was there.

“I missed you,” he choked out between sobs.

“I missed you too,” Kamal managed to get out. “God, Wallus, I’m so sorry. I was an idiot, I was a horrible boyfriend, I’m so sorry.”

Wallus didn’t try to stop the self depreciation. As awful as it made him feel, it also felt sort of good, in a sickening way. To know that Kamal realized how much he’d hurt him. Instead he just sobbed and held Kamal tighter. 

They didn’t speak for a long time. After the worst of the tears had passed, Wallus stood shakily and scooped Kamal up. He carried Kamal to his room, and the two of them lay down in his bed. It was more than big enough for them both, and it wasn’t covered in mud. They fell asleep tangled in each other.

* * *

“I’m going back to help him,” Kamal said as he buttoned up his shirt. Wallus hummed. “That’s a problem, isn’t it?”

“You’re your own man, Kamal,” Wallus said from where he was still lying in bed. “I can’t stop you.”

“But it’s a problem,” Kamal said. He stepped over to run his fingers through Wallus’s hair. “I’m doing it, but it’s a problem.”

“Yeah,” Wallus said, “yeah, it is.”

“Well… how do we solve problems?” Kamal asked.

“We ask for help,” Wallus replied. They looked at each other for a long moment. “I don’t know anyone who’s good with relationships.”

Kamal chuckled. “Both Botchs are divorced, Ronbo and Tiff are still healing, Jerafina and Lulia can’t figure out how to talk to each other, Gillis is still so deep in the closet he pretends Randy doesn’t exist…” They both chuckled. “Maybe… maybe we could ask a certain someone? A certain someone who’s already helped us a lot?”

Wallus mulled it over for a moment. “Okay,” he finally said. “You think their dads will let us see them?”

“Habit went along with my gas leak story,” Kamal said, “so their dads think that we all saved their kid, instead of the other way around.”

“Well… I guess that’s a yes,” Wallus said.

They rode the bus to the flower shop. Neither of them really felt like driving. They stepped inside, and the bell above the door jingled. One of the florists gave them a big smile and waved.

“Good morning fellas!” He said. It was the taller one. Wallus really should learn their names. “What can we do for you?”

“Do you think Flower Kid would be willing to see a couple of friends right now?” Kamal asked.

“Oh! Of course! They’ve actually been asking after you, Mr. Bora,” the florist said.

“Please, just Kamal,” Kamal said.

“Right! Right, sorry,” he said. He turned to Wallus. “I’m so sorry, I know you introduced yourself at the hospital, but that was… well, it was a lot. I don’t remember all the little details. So… what was your name?”

“Wallus.” The florist snapped his fingers and nodded.

“I knew it started with a w!” He said. “Now, follow me! I’m sure the kiddo will be excited to see you!”

Kamal and Wallus followed the florist to the back of the shop, and then up a flight of stairs. The florist directed them to a door on the left side of the hallway, and they both thanked him. He just gave them a grin and went back downstairs to the shop. Kamal carefully stepped forward and knocked.

“Kid?” He called. “It’s Kamal! And Wallus! We uh… we wanted to talk to you.” There was an excited little squeak from inside, so Kamal opened the door. “H-hey, Kid!”

Flower Kid had a small trashcan next to them, and Wallus tried not to throw up at the sight on bloody tissues and gauze in it. They all seemed pretty old at this point, but the room was still tined with a coppery smell. Kamal just smiled nervously at Flower Kid. Neither of them said anything, so Flower Kid began to sign.

_“Sorry, I can’t really talk right now,”_ they signed. _“What’s going on?”_

“Kid…” Kamal started, “you’ve done enough helping to last you a lifetime. But… we were wondering if you had a last piece of advice left in you…”

Flower Kid grinned, and they both winced at the missing teeth. _“I’d love to help!”_ They signed. _“What’s wrong?”_

“Well… you know that I’ve been helping out Habit,” Kamal said. Flower Kid nodded. “But… well, Wallus isn’t ready to forgive yet. And… and we don’t wanna throw a couple decades of love away so… we aren’t sure what to do.”

Flower Kid looked thoughtful for a long moment, before finally signing, _“there’s a lot to this story I don’t know. I can tell. But I think the best way to move forward is to communicate. You both know that though, don’t you?”_ They nodded. _“Then… Kamal, do what you can for Boris. I know you will. But don’t let it stop you and Wallus. And make sure to process your own feelings too. I think you’re throwing yourself too fast into this. I think you still need time to heal too. You just hate seeing the big lug hurt.”_

They reached forward, and both men stepped further into their room. They gave Kamal and Wallus a big smile. _“Take time for yourselves. Both as individuals and as a couple. Talk about what happened. Talk about where you’re going. Talk about Boris, both the good and the bad. Talk about the past. But don’t let it consume you. Or Boris’s story will just repeat.”_ They chuckled. _“Although I’m confident that neither of you are about to start stealing teeth.”_

“Yeah… not likely,” Kamal said. He glanced at Wallus, who was looking at him intently. “I just… you really think that will be enough? Just talking.”

_“It’s a place to start!”_ Flower Kid signed. _“I can’t guarantee that it will be perfect. Maybe… Kamal, maybe you should take your own advice. My dad found a really good therapist. I’m sure there’s someone in the office who does couples counseling.”_

“Yeah…” Wallus mumbled. “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea.”

Kamal nodded. “Can you give us the name of the place?” Flower Kid leaned over to write something down on a journal that was sitting on their nightstand. They ripped out the page and handed it to Kamal. They gave both of them a big grin again, before yawning. “We’ll leave you alone to rest, okay?” Kamal said. Flower Kid nodded.

“Uh… hey,” Wallus said. Flower Kid turned to him. “I’m sorry for brushing you off. And… and I forgive you for pretending to be Kamal. I think it did a lot of good, honestly.” They smiled gently at him, and reached out to pat his hand. “Y-yeah. Thanks for all this, Kid. We’ll keep you updated.”

Flower Kid waved as they closed the door to their room. Wallus didn’t realize he was on the verge of tears before his vision was blurry. He looked down at Kamal, and saw he was gripping the journal paper tight enough that it was almost tearing. Wallus gently took it from him and folded it to put in his pocket. 

“C’mon,” he whispered, “you’ve still got to visit Habit. And I’d kinda like to get home. I need to change the sheets on your bed.” Kamal nodded, and made his way down the stairs very carefully.

They were silent on the bus. Kamal just gave Wallus a little wave when his stop came up. Wallus waved back. He stepped off the bus in front of their apartment building and carefully made his way inside. He changed the sheets on Kamal’s bed, and laid down in it and cried for a while. He turned to stare at the picture from college.

“Couples counseling, huh?” He said aloud, to himself. “Who would’ve thought that we’d end up here?” He sat up and held the picture again. He carefully slipped it out of the frame to hold it more directly. It was flimsy and old. They looked so much younger. Kamal wasn’t graying, and he didn’t have worry lines. Wallus didn’t have his chipped tooth yet. “Fourteen years,” he whispered. “We were supposed to be married by now. Not… not this…”

He slid the picture back into the frame and set it down. There was nothing to do now except wait for Kamal to get home.

* * *

“So… how do you feel?” Wallus asked as they exited the therapist’s office.

Their first session had gone… interestingly. Lots of crying, but there’d been a lot of that anyways lately. Kamal had dissolved at one point, but Wallus was able to pull him back together well with only a little help from the therapist. He was a little proud of himself for that.

“I don’t know…” Kamal said. “Lighter, I think. Not… not better, but lighter.” Wallus nodded. “You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah,” Wallus said. “I know.” He smiled at Kamal, and he beamed back.

The drive home was silent, but not the anxious and awkward silence that they’d been having for almost two months. The companionable silence that they’d had before that “Help Wanted” flier found its way onto their kitchen table. Kamal drove and Wallus pretended that the car wasn’t too small for his huge legs. They listened to the radio, and they both started humming along at the same time. When they stopped at a red light, Kamal glanced at Wallus. They smiled at each other.

The apartment was the same as ever now that they’d resettled. Kamal headed to the kitchen to look through the fridge. They didn’t have much, so they ordered pizza. They picked a musical together, and sat down on the couch to eat. Kamal leaned against Wallus, and it didn’t feel bad or awkward.

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive him?” Kamal asked in the middle of the musical. They’d seen it before, so Wallus didn’t mind talking over it.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I mean… maybe a long way down the road.”

“Do you think you’ll ever let me see him? Romantically, I mean.”

“You still want to?” 

Kamal just hummed. “Not sure yet. I think so though.”

Wallus wrapped an arm around him. “I can’t stop you,” he said. “But I think Flower Kid was right. You need more time to heal. We both do.”

“Yeah…” Kamal said. He looked up at Wallus, and Wallus looked down at him. “I love you.”

“I know,” Wallus said. “I love you too.”

They kissed for the first time since the Habitat.

And it wasn’t perfect. It probably never would be. Maybe it never had been. Maybe it had always been a little broken. They couldn’t say.

But it was theirs.

And it felt pretty damn good.


End file.
